“I had a special bond with my father,” she says softly. “He was the one who told me bedtime stories – even when I was older. We did everything together.”
That chapter came to a heartbreaking end when, just 20 days after her elder sister lost her husband, Asmar’s father also lost his life. “His death shook our entire family. My mother was in denial for a long time and believed he would come back.”
Following his death, the family faced siege and displacement. Forced to flee, they travelled across mountains with little food and water. “We couldn’t even take basic things like clothing,” Asmar recalls. Along the way, she witnessed horrors few could imagine. “A woman exploded herself right in front of me. I felt her blood on my skin. I couldn’t process what I had just seen.”
Eventually, they reached a camp where disease and instability made survival itself uncertain. Then, at age 18, Asmar was separated from her family and sent to detention facility. “I didn’t hear from my relatives for nine months,” she says. “When the ICRC visited, I received a letter from my grandfather who had thought I was dead.”
Even in detention, Asmar tried to maintain a connection with her loved ones. She would collect fruit milk packs and send them to her younger sister through people who could reach her, holding on to the small things that reminded her of home.
After two years, Asmar was repatriated to Azerbaijan with the help of the Azerbaijani authorities. But returning to familiar soil did not bring immediate peace. “I had serious psychological problems. I couldn’t leave the house or speak to people – I felt like everyone could see my pain.” Asmar struggled with panic attacks, nightmares and social phobia.
With support from a psychologist trained through the ICRC’s Mental Health and Psychosocial Support (MHPSS) programme, Asmar started her long journey to healing. The psychological support Asmar received was part of a structured and long-term initiative. The psychologist supporting her was trained through two ICRC-led training programmes and one conducted by the Swedish Red Cross. They took part in monthly supervisions provided by the ICRC from 2021 to 2024. The supervision helped to ensure that the care provided remained ethical, consistent and of high-quality.
In addition to individual sessions, Asmar joined several social enrichment events organized yearly by the MHPSS unit, which helped her build social connections and a renewed sense of belonging. Together, these elements demonstrate how the ICRC’s MHPSS model operates across multiple layers – from peer support to direct psychological care.
Worried for her well-being, Asmar’s grandparents also stood by her side and she slowly found her strength. “I decided to stand up again,” she says. She passed her final school exams with high marks and began improving her Arabic. She also found solace in painting, writing and designing. A story she began writing in the detention camp had been titled Sad Story. “But after returning home and going through the process of healing, I erased that title. I didn’t want to see my life through that lens anymore.”
Asmar’s love for design blossomed. With support from the ICRC, she enrolled in an exterior design course, gaining practical skills and working on projects. “I even began earning money from the work,” she says proudly. She now attends Pilates and fitness classes, which would have been impossible in the early days since her return.
Today, Asmar is building a future with someone she loves and preparing to start a new chapter with her own family. Her story is one of transformation – from trauma to recovery, from silence to finding her voice, and from despair to hope.
A lifeline of support in Azerbaijan
Asmar’s journey reflects not only individual strength but also the long-term commitment of the ICRC’s MHPSS programme in Azerbaijan.
Launched in the early 2000s, the MHPSS programme initially focused on families of missing people. Over the years, it was expanded to support mine survivors, communities affected by the Karabakh conflict and repatriated children and women returning from conflict zones like Syria and Iraq.
Support at multiple levels, prioritizing sustainability:
- Over 5,000 individual sessions provided since the MHPSS programme’s inception.
- More than 100 volunteers from the Azerbaijan Red Crescent Society (AzRCS), educators, health professionals and social workers equipped to provide psychosocial care within their own communities. Focused support provided through tools such as the Book About Me tool for schoolchildren, and support for families of the missing receiving identification confirmation.
- More than 400 families of missing people received remote psychosocial support from trained accompaniers in relation to COVID-19. The Help the Helpers project, psychological first aid (PFA) training and capacity-building with national authorities further strengthened this approach.
This holistic model of care – from awareness sessions and peer support to direct psychological services and clinical referrals – has helped ensure that our support for recovery is not a one-time activity but a continuing process embedded in local systems.
Rebuilding resilience
“I still carry the memories,” Asmar says, “but I’m no longer living in the past.” As Asmar prepares for the next chapter, her journey reminds us that every individual has the capacity to heal – and that with compassion and care, even the most painful stories can be rewritten.
(*Name changed to protect identity.)
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